But I can’t stop smiling
This image captures so much of the essence of the day. It’s imperfect. Do you see my hair falling out on the side there? The wind whipped everything around as much as it possibly could. It wasn’t just a wayward bobby pin that fell out of place on our wedding day. You might be able to see the snow melting in my hair, and the pashmina around my shoulders should tell you something more about the temperature. This pictures reminds me of everything, of the trees that landed on the hydro lines in town, of the frantic call from my unshaven groom, of the late dinner, of the mistaken first dance.
But look at me smile. And look at him smile.
While I remember the mess everything was, I also remember the feeling of being completely unable to stop smiling, of having every emotion bubbling up through my teeth. That alone made everything worth it.
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Tags: wedding photos
Professional photos: My Attire
I felt beautiful.
My sister made all my jewellery. She’s incredibly talented. As you can see.
I originally had my doubts about how a hair piece was going to work, but this ended up adding the perfect amount of glimmer.
And, my shoes:
I loved my dress, but I’ll admit, I was so glad to get out of it at the end of the night. People kept stepping on my hem, I couldn’t go pee by myself… I wonder how people did it when they wore dresses this size every single day…
(All photo credits go to C.L. Photography. Seriously awesome.)
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Tags: jewelry, professional photos, wedding dress
Pro pictures!
I have them in my hands and they are amazing.
This was the one aspect of the day I was a little worried about. In case you missed this detail, we had no hydro at the church or at the reception hall and snow outside where we had planned to do all our photos. Not exactly ideal conditions for beautiful photography. But, our photographer, Corrie from C.L. Photography, was amazing and somehow managed to pull it off. The pictures are beautiful. We resorted to indoors for the family pictures; a small generator allowed Corrie to set up her studio lights, so those pictures are beautiful quality. But, they aren’t quite what we wanted. When M, the bridal party and I braved the weather, however, Corrie did an amazing job working with the time she had and the freezing cold models she had and got us some wonderful shots.
Without further ado, I’m going to throw a whole crapload of beautiful pictures at you.
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Tags: wedding pictures
The walk down the aisle
Where the rest of the morning seemed to drag on and on, this part went like it didn’t happen at all. I remember struggling up the back stairs of the church in my huge dress, taking the last few by myself as I tried to stay out of sight until the moment I was to begin my walk to the front.
I remember two thoughts.
“Dad’s walking too fast. We have to slow down.”
“Oh! There he is. There he is.”
I hugged my mom, then my dad. Then, turning away, I took the final steps toward our marriage on my own, taking my fiance’s arm as I stepped up onto the stage.
(Photos courtesy of my aunt and uncle.)
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Tags: aisle, getting married, wedding
Getting ready
Dressing for your own wedding is a four person job. Two to tie you in, one to thread, one to tighten. One to hand you your jewelry one piece at a time, and to help with the clasps.
And you, holding everything up until it’s tight enough, not falling down. You, slipping into your beautiful red satin shoes.
It was exciting, finally putting on the dress that hung for in my room at my parents’ house for a couple months. I could stop staring at this picture:
as I tranformed into this:
The dress, I bought at Ballett’s, a national wedding dress company. The shoes are from the Vianni Collection by Roberto Vianni. My jewelry, a bracelet, earrings, a necklace and a hairpiece, was made by my very talented sister.
(The first and last photograph are not from our professional photographer, but rather from my aunt and uncle, talented professional photographers themselves.
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Tags: wedding dress
The only breakdown
I thought I was going to be one of those people that didn’t let her wedding take over. I was going to try very very hard to get through the whole experience without letting it drag me down, without any tears except happy ones, without any fights, any yelling, any unreasonable requests. I was going to have fun with every single step.
Obviously, that didn’t happen. In all, I did a good job keeping a level head, I think. But getting through the whole experience without a frustrated moment, without a few tears? I think I was being unrealistic with myself.
The breakdown was really small. But it wasn’t about the seating plans that were suddenly a mess with a few last minute cancellations; it wasn’t about the time constraint of trying to get the whole reception venue set up in one day; it wasn’t about trying to achieve the vision we had had for the table centrepieces, the table set-up, the dance floor. Rather, it was all these things and more.
The day before the wedding might be one of the most stressful days of my life, or at least of recent memory. I don’t know how this could have been avoided except by having a very different wedding. Suddenly, I was the task master of the day. People came to me to find out what they were supposed to do, what needed to be done. I could have handled it. Except that at the same time, all I wanted to do was sit back and think about what was coming up. It was almost here and I was supposed to be excited. But I was too busy telling people to get cutlery out, showing people how to fold the napkins, and setting out the seating lists. I wasn’t excited and every time someone asked me if I was I got more frustrated.
My dad followed me out of the hall when everything got to be too much. This fact in itself makes the breakdown OK, valuable, even. My dad has always been the best hugger, the strong support when I’m feeling emotionally ruined. I know this is going to change and should change; but at that moment, I was reminded that my father will be there to give me a hug if I need it, even if I’m a married woman, successful and independent. This is one of the many reasons I have kept my name. (I’ll get around to fully explaining how these things connect someday.)
After that, I was OK. There was one more moment, when M fake-married me later that night, when I thought I’d burst into crazy-happy-holy-crap-this-is-actually-happening tears. But that’s hardly a breakdown.
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Tags: Dad, reception hall, rehearsal, set-up
Let’s get started.
Since I’m having trouble getting started with these posts about all the things you guys really want to hear about, I’m going to start with a list of things that I’m going to talk about. I’ll do my best to follow the list and hopefully be done by the end of next week.
- The only breakdown. Or, the set-up and rehearsal.
- Getting ready. Or, revealing the dress.
- The walk down the aisle. Or, the one in which we get married!
- Gritted teeth under relaxed smiles. Or, the ones in which we freeze our butt off trying to get some decent pictures.
- Our people talk. Or, speeches!
- A sensitive subject. Or, the one in which I muse on what happened with our garter toss and briefly discuss the bouquet toss.
- Our send off. Or, my relief to be out of my big white dress.
- The honeymoon!
- Settling in.
Let’s see how this goes…
(If any of my readers have an pictures from the wedding you’d like to share with me and might be ok with having them show up here, let me know or email them to me! Not carrying a camera with you means you are left with very few.)
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Wife
In the car after the dimly lit ceremony, M and I started practicing.
“Wife.”
“Husband.”
Sitting on the beach in Punta Cana, we practiced.
“Husband.”
“Wife.”
Things haven’t quite settled yet. We’re all over again this week, opening gifts, getting a car, buying a couch, playing golf (…that’s him, not me…), visiting friends and family, introducing Pekoe to a new home.
Soon, I’ll start updating. I’ll muse a little, maybe get a touch sentimental.
We are married. And so far, it’s wonderful.
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Tags: honeymoon, married, wedding
Bachelorette party pointers
1. Don’t go out on a Thursday night. Even if it’s a university town where Thursday night is supposed to be The Night, just don’t.
2. Do your research. What’s open? Where are the dance floors? Where can you go when place A does not turn out to be what you expected it to be? What’s you’re back-up plan if three of the clubs you thought about hitting up happen to burn down that morning?
3. If a scene is good, linger, even if there’s another scene you want to try.
4. If everything dries up and you made all the mistakes I just told you not to make because you’re moving out of town on Friday, the clubs that burnt down are the only ones open on Thursdays, and you tried karaoke and it was kind of fun, but hoped to find a dance floor, don’t head for home at 11:30. Find a quiet bar, go back to the karaoke place, heck, even bust in on your fiance’s scene if he also happens to be out on the town even though his bachelor party lasted the whole of the previous weekend while you were still studying for your last exams. Stay out as long as your friends and your feet will let you. Otherwise, you will wake up still disappointed and slightly embarrassed about the thing you dared to call a bachelorette party.
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Tags: bachelorette party, dancing
The Vows
My mom asked me if we have any desire to write our own vows. This question makes sense. I’m the literature nut of the family, the one voted most likely to be a best selling author someday*, the one who professes a love of words. If she had asked me the same question three months ago, the answer may have been different.
But I realized this morning, after I sent a reply back to her, that everything that’s been going on these past few weeks has me far more stressed out than I realized. Let me make a list:
Things that have been happening
- M’s job search. (Now done.)
- My job search. (On hold until after the honeymoon. However, my job searching habits have not stopped, and I know that it affects my mental health every time I find a job I want that has a start date of May 15.)
- The apartment search. (Done. Holy crap, is signing a lease through a realtor with no contact with the landlord stressful…)
- The move. (Both 3 and 4 contain a lot of dreaming: sofas, floor plans, desks, tiny kitchen tables, organizers, and all the money it’s going to cost for us to outfit our space. Also, dispersing our current, over-sized furniture.)
- Exams. (Yeah… Maybe not so good that they’re number 5 on the list.)
- The wedding. (All the meetings we need to do, the few things that need to fall into place yet…)
- Life. (Friends. Campus ministry stuff. Quality time with M so I don’t go completely insane. Hanging out with friends I may never see again as we go our separate ways. Hanging out with life long friends who I will see again but miss me when I fall into a stupor of stress. Grad photos. Keeping Pekoe’s water dish full. Doing laundry.)
When I make a list, I don’t feel so bad about letting guestbooks and emails to the photographer and the pianist keep me up until past my bed time. And it makes my answer to my mom about writing my own vows make a lot of sense.
There’s too much bouncing around in my head to add writing vows that no one is going to remember to the list of things to do. The brief moment in which I considered it made me realize that I really just want to get these next few weeks done and over with. It also made me realize that maybe it would be ok if all of our children end up boys: that way, I might never have to plan another wedding again.
* Actually, if my dad wanted to, he could write a book. I think my brother may have taken up some creative writing recently too. My sister used to write, maybe still does? I’m not the only one with literary talent.
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Tags: busy, stress, vows
The Literary Bride 