We are married.

In the car after the dimly lit ceremony, M and I started practicing.



Sitting on the beach in Punta Cana, we practiced.



Things haven’t quite settled yet. We’re all over again this week, opening gifts, getting a car, buying a couch, playing golf (…that’s him, not me…), visiting friends and family, introducing Pekoe to a new home.

Soon, I’ll start updating. I’ll muse a little, maybe get a touch sentimental.

We are married. And so far, it’s wonderful.


1. Don’t go out on a Thursday night. Even if it’s a university town where Thursday night is supposed to be The Night, just don’t.

2. Do your research. What’s open? Where are the dance floors? Where can you go when place A does not turn out to be what you expected it to be? What’s you’re back-up plan if three of the clubs you thought about hitting up happen to burn down that morning?

3. If a scene is good, linger, even if there’s another scene you want to try.

4. If everything dries up and you made all the mistakes I just told you not to make because you’re moving out of town on Friday, the clubs that burnt down are the only ones open on Thursdays, and you tried karaoke and it was kind of fun, but hoped to find a dance floor, don’t head for home at 11:30. Find a quiet bar, go back to the karaoke place, heck, even bust in on your fiance’s scene if he also happens to be out on the town even though his bachelor party lasted the whole of the previous weekend while you were still studying for your last exams. Stay out as long as your friends and your feet will let you. Otherwise, you will wake up still disappointed and slightly embarrassed about the thing you dared to call a bachelorette party.

The Vows


My mom asked me if we have any desire to write our own vows. This question makes sense. I’m the literature nut of the family, the one voted most likely to be a best selling author someday*, the one who professes a love of words. If she had asked me the same question three months ago, the answer may have been different.

But I realized this morning, after I sent a reply back to her, that everything that’s been going on these past few weeks has me far more stressed out than I realized. Let me make a list:

Things that have been happening

  1. M’s job search. (Now done.)
  2. My job search. (On hold until after the honeymoon. However, my job searching habits have not stopped, and I know that it affects my mental health every time I find a job I want that has a start date of May 15.)
  3. The apartment search. (Done. Holy crap, is signing a lease through a realtor with no contact with the landlord stressful…)
  4. The move. (Both 3 and 4 contain a lot of dreaming: sofas, floor plans, desks, tiny kitchen tables, organizers, and all ┬áthe money it’s going to cost for us to outfit our space. Also, dispersing our current, over-sized furniture.)
  5. Exams. (Yeah… Maybe not so good that they’re number 5 on the list.)
  6. The wedding. (All the meetings we need to do, the few things that need to fall into place yet…)
  7. Life. (Friends. Campus ministry stuff. Quality time with M so I don’t go completely insane. Hanging out with friends I may never see again as we go our separate ways. Hanging out with life long friends who I will see again but miss me when I fall into a stupor of stress. Grad photos. Keeping Pekoe’s water dish full. Doing laundry.)

When I make a list, I don’t feel so bad about letting guestbooks and emails to the photographer and the pianist keep me up until past my bed time. And it makes my answer to my mom about writing my own vows make a lot of sense.

There’s too much bouncing around in my head to add writing vows that no one is going to remember to the list of things to do. The brief moment in which I considered it made me realize that I really just want to get these next few weeks done and over with. It also made me realize that maybe it would be ok if all of our children end up boys: that way, I might never have to plan another wedding again.

* Actually, if my dad wanted to, he could write a book. I think my brother may have taken up some creative writing recently too. My sister used to write, maybe still does? I’m not the only one with literary talent.

After realizing we have 25 days until the wedding day, I decided I needed to make a decision about the guestbook. The easy route beaconed and I decided to follow.

Unfortunately, it might be too late for the easy route. I collected pictures of M and I, fought with their online software and finally clicked through to Walmart’s online checkout with a finished 20 page photo book. I think it looks shnazzy. But the warning in red as I sent the order off was the exact warning I was a little worried about.

We have 3 and a half weeks to the wedding. Walmart has a turn-around time of 2 to 3 weeks for their photo books. Should be no problem, right? Except that things don’t always go as planned and orders like photo books sometimes end up late. Seems like I should come up with a back-up plan just in case my pretty, high-end leather book filled with sickly sweet, cuddly pictures of M and I decides to not show up.

Anyone have any experience with Walmart being slow or (pretty please) nicely on time?

April 8

One month and we will lay our love out on a table for everyone to see.
We’ll dance. We’ll laugh. We might cry.
Things will go wrong. Things will go right.
And in the end, it will be just you and me, holding hands,
Surrounded and loved, held up and encouraged,
Pushed on to the next thing, and the thing after that, and the thing after that,

This past weekend, the Almost-Husband and I decided it was time to bite the bullet and find him a ring. We went to the same mall he bought my engagement ring at, hoping we could have all three of our rings from the same store: getting them cleaned would be so easy, just dropping them all off at one store.

There are four jewelry stores in that Mall.

Ben Moss

Nine men’s rings in white gold in stock. There was one the Almost-Husband almost liked, but the edge was ripply, which threw the whole thing off.


Nine men’s rings in white gold in stock. There was one the Almost-Husband almost liked, but the edge was square as opposed to round.


Nine men’s rings in white gold in stock. There was one the Almost-Husband almost… You get the picture.


Marshman’s, home of friendly sales people in ugly jackets, the only independent jewelry store in the mall

Six men’s rings in white gold in stock. Nothing even close to the Almost-Husband’s desire except in┬átitanium, which he was absolutely not interested in.

They pulled out a book and he found his dream ring in it.

Isn’t it beautiful? We got them to price it up for us. We needed to leave the store, go get a coffee and not win the $10 000 before we could pick our jaws up off the floor.

To get them to make this ring for us, it was going to cost a whopping $1200! That’s more than double the cost of my ring and it’s got 0.5 carats of diamonds in it! To put this into context, if they had it in their showcase, it would be priced at approximate $500. Something was not right here and the idea that we couldn’t find his ring for around the price of other wedding bands just seemed… wrong.

I was discouraged. The Almost-Husband might not admit it, but he was discouraged too.

Yesterday, we went to a different mall. We tried a different Peoples and a different Mappins. Both places had rings that were very close and the Almost-Husband might have been convinced to be happy with one of those.

But then we walked into Raffi Jewellers. We walked along their showcase of diamond rings and as it kept going, I started to think they’d have the fewest men’s rings of all. But then. The diamond rings ended and there was what seemed like a sea of bands. Men’s bands. A whole caseful! 9 times 20! I could have leapt across the showcase to hug the relaxed salesman. Instead I started to babble about how we had been so many places and none of them had selection, and none of them had the ring he wanted and holy crap there it is right there!

The Almost-Husband ended up putting in an order for a ring that was not the ring he was originally looking for, a ring he likes even better. It was reasonably priced despite being made to size for him. It will be ready in two weeks. I, for one, am relieved that we’ve found something he likes.

Hair Trial #1


Last week, I went for my hair trial. I wanted something loose, something curly, something up but soft and romantic.

The front: I walked in to my parent’s house and my mother said, “Oh. Do you really want the front that poofy?”

The back: Well… what do you think? It was a quick job, so I assume he’s not going to leave the bobby pins sticking out like that.

Since the hair trial, I’ve decided I want something that’s lower on my head. He said that since I have so much hair, it’s hard to do that. But, I at least want something that looks like it’s lower on my head, even if it isn’t. I want no poof in the front and I want more hair around my face, even if I run the danger of it flying everywhere and getting in the way.

Now, I’m debating if I actually need another hair trial or if, on the day, I can explain the changes I want and hope for the best…